Wise Words

"The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.  Because no matter what happens  you will always be with you" - Diane von Furstenberg

One Bum Day Only!

I'm an actress, a dancer, an okay singer, a performer.  I've been doing this almost my whole life.  Since I was 10 actually, so I should be used to the rejection that comes with the territory.  And honestly I am pretty good about it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't shake my confidence some.

I had an audition last night for a show I was pretty excited about.  I'm not sure if it was the actually show that made me excited or just the thought of being back on stage.  Either way potential show = me stoked.  There's a nice crowd, I catch up with some old friends, it's a nice time.  I was confident in what I put out there.  So I go home high on life and play the waiting game.  This is the worst part.  It's like waiting for a call after a fantastic first date. 

Nine o'clock rolls around, auditions are officially over and I should be getting that call any second now.  Nine thirty...ten...ten thirty...eleven.  I head off to bed without a final resolution.  I have dreams about the show and me showing up to the first rehearsal, but told to go home.  I know when I wake up from this nightmare, I didn't get the part.  So when my phone rings this morning I wasn't surprised to here the "thanks, but no thanks."

Every time I'm rejected in one way or another I allow myself one bummed day. Twenty fours hours to be upset, mad, whiny, scheming, BUMMED.  I don't know where I come up with this rule.  Probably from mom, she's pretty smart like that.  It's also helps to talk it out to friends, so I'm heading over to the amazing Knapp's tonight for a nice evening of venting.

SIDE NOTE:  I was just checking my friends FB page and I think he put it best.  "I have been in this business a long time.  Now if I don't want to do a show it's not because I got stage fright.  It's because some creature form beyond doesn't want me to the the show."
I think that says it all.  Sums everything up in a nice little package.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

A friend of mine passes this along to me.  I love the simple things that can crack a smile.

1. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
2. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
3. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
4. Sing Along At The Opera.
5. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
6. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
7. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, "We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
8. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

Melissa’s 12 Commandments for Life

Part of the Happiness Project is coming up with ones on 12 commandments.  These 12 commandments are to help when I am struggling to keep my resolutions.  I’ve always been one to latch onto wise words of wisdom and quotes, but I’ve struggled to narrow all these thoughts down to 12.  Maybe that’s why there are also the Secrets of Adulthood.

Since I’m a musical theater nerd I’ve always been drawn to the wise words of song and dance.  You can’t get any happier than jazz hands right? 

Melissa’s 12 Commandments for Life (a work in progress)

1. I don't care. I don't care. What people may think of me.
2. Everyone makes mistakes oh yes they do. Everyone makes mistakes so why can't you?
3. Always look on the bright side of life.
4. No day but today.
5. Forget your troubles, come on get happy
6. Everyone goes down well with beer
7. Defy gravity
8. Any dream will do
9. Children will listen
10. Happiness is anyone and anything at all that's loved by you.
11. I'm fat.  That's that.

Gretchen’s Twelve Personal Commandments

1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out.
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.

Four Splendid Truths

First: To be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

Second: One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

Third: The days are long, but the years are short.

Fourth: You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.

Secrets of Adulthood

1. The best reading is re-reading.
2. Outer order contributes to inner calm.
3. The opposite of a great truth is also true.
4. You manage what you measure.
5. By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
6. People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
7. It's nice to have plenty of money.
8. Most decisions don't require extensive research.
9. Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
10. Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
11. If you can't find something, clean up.
12. The days are long, but the years are short.
13. Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
14. Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
15. It's okay to ask for help.
16. You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
17. Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
18. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
19. You don't have to be good at everything.
20. Soap and water removes most stains.
21. It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
22. You know as much as most people.
23. Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
24. Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
25. What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
26. People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
27. Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
28. If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
29. No deposit, no return.

First Month Report

Well, it's been almost a month and do I feel happier?  Not terribly.  It's been a stressful month for me personally and professionally.  I've struggled with keeping a positive attitude "acting the way I want to feel".  However I did succeed in some changes.  A lot of them came to me in these past couple weeks, so I hope to keep going strong with all my June goals while focusing on July.

 

Clear My Closets:  This was my first task to tackle.  And at first I really struggled.  I'm not one to keep loads of stuff around.  Timmy hates clutter and I have a fear of becoming a hoarder.  Maybe I should finally realize that if you are afraid of becoming a hoarder, it probably won't happen. 

So I start on my bedroom closet.  It wasn't too long ago that I cleaned out this beast of a closet so this time it was different.  It was not only clearing the items I no longer wanted by tossing the clothes that no longer fit.  These were items I used to wear and LOVE, but these days I'm nowhere near my 22 year old self.  I always said I will save those outfits for when I lost the weight, but the days have gone by and I just keep buying new stretchy stuff.   I asked my friend about this dilemma.  "Since part of my month is working out, I'll start losing weight, so should I throw out the stuff now when it could fit soon?"

Without any hesitation she replied, "NO!  Throw it out now.  If you love it so much keep one or two items, but the rest has to go." 

I guess that's all I needed.  I saved a couple of my favorite dress, but everything else went.  I took everything over to my mom's where my sisters and my mom all found new exciting clothes for their wardrobe.  All in all is was nice to see them so excited about everything and to see them in some of my hand me downs make me happy I got rid of it all.  I feel better, and they have new stuff.  It's a win win for all!

One thing that rang true for me as well was although I have hare fewer clothes in front of me, I feel as though I have more to wear - because everything in my closet is something that I realistically would wear.

Tackle A Nagging Task: I still have a lot of work here.  My first nagging task; the rose garden.  It's the first thing I see when I pull in the driveway and it always bothered me that the weeds were taking over.  So one afternoon I bought flowers, mulch, weed be gone, and 3 hours later I had the rose garden and front of the house planters beautified! 

My next tasks I plan on tackling this weekend; get out the hammer and fix all the loose nails I keep running into.  AND clean the gutters.  Fingers crossed I don't fall off the roof.  Maybe I can get Timmy to do this before I get into July where it's a month of NO NAGGING!

Get Physical:  Hee hee.  To say I did this is a bunch of bull!  I know I know, it's so important to the longevity of the project, but I just didn't make it happen like I should have.  I had all the good intentions of getting up early and going to Jazzercise to get it out of the way.  Then life happened.  I became knees deep working on Almost, Maine.  Then work and life became difficult which started my drinking habit.  I was having a drink about every night, not getting drunk, but enough to really affect my body.  I've noticed I'm more sluggish and just depressed over the way I look.  So this week I revamp.  I'm not training for a biking event.  I have friends and family holding me accountable and so far I'm rockin.  Here's to being back on the fitness band wagon!

Restore, Maintain, Organize, Use to Do List, "One Minute Rule" and Evening Tidy Up:  All of these for me acted as one.  Once I got my house all cleaned and in order it's been easy to maintain and organize.  One study suggested that eliminating clutter would cut down the amount of house work in the average home by 40 percent!  One evening a friend of mine wanted to come over.  It was all last minute, but I didn't have to run around like a crazy women trying to hide all our messes.  Nope, I just vacuumed and said come on over.  It was so simple! 

The "one minute rule" has been so helpful.  It's amazing how much you can get done in that one minute.  The evening tidy up has been a refreshing change.  It's so nice to come into a clean kitchen and living room in the mornings.  Even my bedroom is cleaner! 

My to do list is helping me at work.  I've used one for the past few years, but not like I have this past month.  I wrote down every little thing I have to get done from the big projects that will take a few days to the everyday go to the bank.  There is something so gratifying in being able to crossed tasks off the list.  I find so much joy in that one little scribble.  I haven't used it at home.  Timmy said if he sees a to do list he gets overwhelmed and doesn't do any of it. 

All in all I've learned a lot this past month about the way I want to live and the way I handle stress.  There are still a lot of changes and things I need to work on.  I'm going to re-read the first two chapters so I get a better grip on my goals.  I'm excited for a couple of my friends to join in with me on this journey.  It will be nice to have someone to share with who is going through the same challenges.

Happiness Picker Upper

Sometimes you just need a little extra happiness. How can this NOT make you smile?!

Happiness Hacks

It's been a couple of deflating weeks.  Between work, home, and general life stress, I had a breakdown.  I can see how easy it would be fore someone to become and alcoholic.  Now I"m not even close to that, but there were quite a few times I could have really used a drink.

What I'm finding is really hard for me is; who do I vent to?  I'm a pretty positive person.  I let a lot of things just roll off my back or I keep them to myself because I don't want my negativity to effect others.  But there are those times where you just need to vent and I'm not sure who or where I can go to.  This week I kept everything in and I crashed.  I was angry, depressed, upset of things out of my control.  Every little thing that came after this one incident was bigger than it should have been and I checked out.

My happiness hack came from people; customers, merchants, co-workers, etc.  I feel as though some people just make life difficult for themselves and feel that everyone should have as much trouble with life as they do so they create drama.  Why are we unpleasant to people?  Why do we create so much unneeded drama?  Why do we like to share the drama?

Happiness is this thing that everyone searches for and for some it's very elusive.  When really we all create our own happiness.  We choose how things effect us and a lot of "the drama" is created by our own insecurities. 

Act the way I want to feel.  Although we presume that we act because of the way we feel, in fact we often feel because of the way we act.  For example, studies show that even an artificially induced smile brings about happier emotions, and one experiment suggested that people who use botox are less prone to anger, because they can't make angry faces.  The philosopher and psychologist William James explained "Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together, and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not."  Advice from every quarter, ancient and contemporary, backs up the observation that to change our feelings, we should change our actions." - The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin