It's Not Me, It's You

A friend of mine told me about this article today.  I have been struggling with the feelings of a broken friendship for sometime now (about a 18 months to be exact).  My feeling have run the gambit.  From mad, frustrated, hurt, betrayed, disappointed, furious, remorse to even happiness. I was hurt that a so called friend would treat someone they supposedly cared about in that manner.   I was frustrated that no matter how many times or how I apologized, this "friend" would accept but go on treating me in an awful manner.  Bottom line this friendship was toxic to my happiness and I needed to put an end to it and move on. 

When I made the choice to move on from this friendship I completely cut the person out of my life.  I removed them from my facebook feed.  I removed myself from situations where I know I may run into this person.  I worked on creating more meaningful relationships with the friends around me instead of focusing on the negativity this friendship created. 

Unfortunately cutting this person out of my life was not as easy as just removing them from my facebook feed.  We had so many mutual friends that were in this circle that still had a relationship with this friend (and that's WONDERFUL).  I have stressed since the beginning that I don't want people to choose sides.  This is not their fight and each friendship is different.  They have a different relationship with this friend than I have.  As I try to cut this person out of my life she would keep popping up somewhere.  At a friend's event, out in the city, or even by someone saying did you see so and so's facebook status, or so and so added new photos did you see them? 

Every time this person popped up I would get very upset and emotional.  It stressed me out!  Things have been a lot better lately, but it all finally made some sense when I read this article.  It's nice to know that this happens and life goes on.  It's painful but eventually everything will be okay.  We are just moving onto a different chapter in our individual stories.  It's not good, it's not sad, it's just a part of life and growing up.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/fashion/its-not-me-its-you-how-to-end-a-friendship.html